The Mail and the wedding

Where else can you get the latest and best-reported news on the event of the year – the Royal Wedding?

Yes, it’s that bastion of royal values – Mail Online.

Line up! Line up! For the spectacular display of stories, comment and facts about Kate and William: (the Fairy Princess and the Goblin Prince?). Millions of people read the newspaper but millions more are on the website.

Go to the website. Drown yourself in Royal mania. This will be 10 weeks of Windsor Worship – and by god do they deserve it.

But do not leave us for long! We will give you a bridesmaid a day with a page thrown in for dessert. What else can you want from StrollOn? – a beacon of information throwing out messages into the darkening gloom of economic depression.

Come back to us and take a stroll in the city – it is always the best way to work off the sorrows of the Big Society.

William and Kate's Saint

The Royal Wedding is on 29^th April 2011.

Why that day? Simple: it is the Feast Day of St Catherine of Siena.

St Catherine was number 23 of 25 children which is quite a challenge in itself although probably less of a challenge than becoming a Saint. You can still visit her house in Siena.

Although she was said to be a model child (hardworking, friendly etc.) she must have surprised her parents. It all started with the visit by Jesus when she was only 5 (well it would wouldn’t it?) and at the age of 7 she vowed to lead a life of chastity. She became an anorexic in her teens – believing that she did not need to have earthly food since God would always provide – and then proceeded to give away all her family’s food because they could also depend on God. Yes, I can hear what some parents are thinking but let us move on.

She was a great letter writer and eventually the Pope gave her a job as an ambassador since she wrote such persuasive letters. However the job proved to be too much and she went back to Rome to die in 1380. She was only 33 with an emaciated body as a result of her continuing anorexia and bulimia.

When Catherine died there was a terrible tussle between Sienna and Rome over where her body should lie. Rome had the advantage of actually having the body in a church but the Sienese were not to be thwarted. They opened her grave and cut off the head to take home. You can see its shrine in the Basilica of San Domenico in Siena.

She was made a saint in 1461 and in 1999 she was made one of the patron saints of Europe.

I doubt any of this is relevant to our Catherine but it gives you something to think about on the day itself.

Renting bicycles in London

>

It starts on 30^th July

The hire-bike has at last come to London. So late after the pioneers of Paris.

It is not hard to bike in London because it is built on a river plain and all the interesting bits are on the flat. It should be a brilliant experience. You can follow in fascination a StrollOn tour, coast quietly along the river, pedal coolly under the trees, park thirstily outside the pubs and finish refreshed at a docking station.

Are they going to be any good? Jon Snow in the FT was very doubtful. They are slow and expensive. They are so heavy that however hard you pedal you can be overtaken by a burger in trainers doing a power-walk. But so what? Are you trying to be Lance Armstrong? No, you have come to see as much of London as you can.

They do sound expensive: you sign up for a day for £1 and then pay £1 for an hour (OK) but £6 for 2 hours! You get more from StrollOn but you go further with a bike. Therefore I suggest you take it for an hour in the middle of London and then go back with us to see the best bits.

A warning: avoid roundabouts and cyclists.

Cyclists are killed on roundabouts. White van drivers are like fighter pilots – the roundabout is the perfect battleground. They surround, squeeze and then dump the cyclist. Each scratch on the van represents a smashed cyclist. Don’t stop to count the scratches otherwise you will be one of them.

Messenger cyclists are just as dangerous but they aim to maim – they do not kill. Traffic lights are challenges – how many red ones can they jump on a road. If you go at a proper speed then you get in their way and nothing will stop them. They cut in front and leave you floundering. Just watch out and keep to the lane. You might survive to be a miracle.

I promise to keep you up to date on this story. I will battle to find a bike and report back.

Rain! Rain! Rain!

It's raining in Europe. Try these places for something different.

1. London: The bridge with a view
Tower Bridge is across the river from the Tower of London and has a fantastic view up, down and across the river. It might break in two if you are lucky or an aeroplane could flie through it (see it on Strollon)

2. Paris: Dream of sex
The Erotic Museum in Paris is right next to the Moulins Rouge in Montmartre and the start of the Strollon walk.

3. Amsterdam: Look for your specs
If you can not find them then go and look at the Spectacle Museum in Amsterdam. If you can not see it then press the bottom button. Fascinating for the myopic.

4. Prague: Play with Barbie:
In Prague there are not many out-of-the-ordinary museums but I am told that the Toy Museum is the second largest in the world with crowds of Barbies in all their glory. Give it a go.

5. Venice: Goggle at Guggenheim
In Venice you have seen every Saint that you every want to meet. The rain fills the canals and the clouds darken the windows. Just go to the lightness of Peggy Guggenheim’s museum for wonderment and light.

Well this is a short list. I will come back to more if the rain keeps tumbling down.

Good luck. Keep dry.

A new poem from "Be Prepared"

Be prepared for your visit to London with the London Guide.
Some people do not even try and are so sad when they come home!

This is a poem written for Strollon by one of these people:

I went to London to see the Queen. She couldn’t see me. She was having tea.

I went to London to talk to Van Gogh. He couldn’t hear me. His ear had come off.

I went to London to see Big Ben. He couldn’t hear me. He was just striking ten.

I went to London to see the Dome. It was no longer there and so I went home.

A stroll through Terminal 5

A stroll through the airport
Chaos and anger erupted at London airports last night.
I was at Heathrow where we were surrounded by mobs of very cross travellers.
Staff stood in the middle of the concourse and just told people to ring a very long number if they wanted information. Most of them did not have mobiles that worked, or their batteries were flat or they could not find a payphone.
Therefore here are a few hints for travellers in Terminal 5:
1. Plug sockets are near the toilets. They can charge the laptop and the mobile. You look like a tramp sitting on the floor but it is better than standing in a queue.

2. Go to any empty desks for information. Queues can be created at random. People think it has a purpose but often it is a crowd causing trouble. Other check-in desks welcome a friendly face and have the same information.

3. Use your looks and charm. I do not claim to have either of them but they work wonders on a hassled member of staff. Bad jokes are not welcome but always stroke egos and mop brows. Do you remember the hell of complaining customers?

4. Don’t get cross. You look an asshole to all other travellers and staff avoid you.

5. Grab a seat in a coffee shop. They can be gold-dust and buy you new friends.

I will bring you more hints next week.

Cycling across the Channel

I promised to keep you up to date with the news and history of famous strollers.
Well I forgot to mention the 30th anniversary of the first human powered flight across the Channel. Bryan L Allen cycled across it exactly 30 years ago. He is not exactly a stroller since he bicycled the whole way but he strolled at each end and so he qualifies for the Blog.
The plane had the romantic name of the Gossamer Albatross (a sister plane was solar powered and had the less suitable name of the Gossamer Penguin) with a wingspan of nearly 30 metres and an empty weight of 32kg. The key to man powered flight is the relationship between weight and the area of the wings. Therefore since we are so heavy, the machine has to have enormous wings. This plane's wing area was 150 square metres. Those people who attached wax and feathers never stood a chance.
He pedalled for 169 minutes to keep the "plane" airborne in order to get from England to France. This might not sound a long time but he had a head wind and he needed a lot of energy to keep the wings up. One of the team said that the maximum length of the flight was 170 minutes before he ran out of energy. His average height was 5 feet off the sea - try that on your next flight to France.
A copy of the plane is in the Museum of Flight in Seattle
I like to think that he only wanted to get to Paris to try our tours there since he had enjoyed the Strollon tours in London so much but I guess the prize of £50,000 was more important.
There is an award winning documentary about the flight that you can get from the internet movie database.
Although this might not be the most efficient way to reduce global warming and save the planet, we have to praise the man for showing that we must never give up.
In passing it worth emphasising that when you are on one of our walks, you are doing a lot more to save the planet than when you are on top of the tour buses. You could of course take a bicycle but I would not recommend braving the London traffic with earphones attached to an MP3 player.
Keep strolling.....